‘New year new me’, it’s a phrase that you hear all over the place in the lead-up to and first few weeks of a new year. Whilst the goal of getting fitter, healthier and more successful is admirable, this kind of rhetoric can also be damaging. Improving yourself is positive, whereas the desire for a ‘new you’ may not be a healthy attitude.
Don’t Leave The ‘Old You’ Behind
Let’s start by saying that you do not need to become a brand-new person, especially in response to something as arbitrary as us completing another trip around the sun! Those things about yourself that you are not happy with do not define you and you don’t need to shed who you are. Sometimes we are at our most powerful when we embrace our flaws and difficulties and manage to accept ourselves.
Here are some things that you can do to stop thinking that a new year, new me approach is necessary:
- Recognise and celebrate what you are good at, no matter how big or small.
- Spend time with people who make you feel good. Don’t let others drag you down, try to be around people who lift you up.
- Be kind to yourself and think about what would you say to a friend who is experiencing the same negative feelings that you are.
- Learn to be assertive. Try to be confident in your own opinions and decisions and stick to them.
- Try something new! Get out of your comfort zone, you might find a new hobby you love or impress yourself with how brave you can be!
Change ‘New Year, New Me’ To ‘New Year, Improved Me’
Another problem with the ‘new year, new me’ rhetoric is that the big changes that it seems to push for are unlikely to be things that will stick. If you go into 2023 thinking that you are going to be running marathons every weekend, eating only the healthiest food and keeping your house as clean as a showhome, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.
Instead of trying to transform your life overnight, you should focus on making positive, more manageable changes. Try to work out a couple of times a week and don’t tell yourself that you must be at the gym twice a day, every day. Cut down on your coffee intake instead of trying to go cold turkey at the stroke of midnight. This kind of gradual improvement is much more likely to be effective and something that you can stick to long-term.
The New Year, New Me Vicious Cycle
As stated above, trying to transform yourself and your whole life overnight with a ‘new year, new me’ mantra in mind will set you up for failure. No one likes to feel as though they’ve let themselves down. Unfortunately, for some people, this feeling can become overwhelming and create a vicious cycle.
You break your new year’s resolution and it makes you feel sad. To feel better you cheer yourself up with the same bad habit you were trying to break, this then makes you feel worse, and so you try to cheer yourself up with the same vice, and round and round it goes! The kind of thinking that gets you trapped in this vicious cycle is something that Dr Jan can help with.
Let Us Help
We hope that this advice will help you to improve your life, whilst simultaneously helping you to embrace who you are and the good and the bad that comes with it. If you feel as though you could do with some further help please book your FREE discovery call today. This 20-minute session will give Dr Jan the opportunity to understand what you are struggling with and start working out how he can help.